Thursday, June 30, 2011

Apple Pie

Freddy, the wiener dog, is a fiend for apple pie.  That big snout knows the second apple pie is brought into the house. When Jeff finished dinner, Freddy went bonkers until Jeff broke out the pie. Bonkers. The only food worse than apple pie is peanut butter.  Jeff will definitely get his nose nipped if he delays with the pie.

A cat shouldn't tease a hound dog.

Blaine, the cat
When Freddy, the wiener dog, was a young adult we had a cat named Blaine.  Most of the time they had a truce but every once in a while Freddy would chase Blaine, or try, usually because she swished her tail in his face.  She’d jump on top of furniture and that would be the end of the chase.  Once, however, she tried to hide between the washer and dryer.  Bad idea, Blaine.  Freddy’s long nose went between those machines and that big mouth of teeth chomped down on her rear-end and he pulled her out by dragging her by her bottom.  She didn't tease him after that.


Nail Trimming at the Vet's Ofc.
Freddy, the wiener dog, went to the vet's office this morning to get his nails trimmed.  Ashamedly, I don't notice that Freddy's nails need a trimming until they're Sabertooth tiger long.  Freddy absolutely will not hold still even for his Daddy to trim his nails, so Freddy must go to the vet.  He doesn't mind the ride.  He doesn't mind going inside.  He's not happy when the big doggies arrive for their appointment.  (And, what was that thing this morning?  A cross between a Boxer and a Great Dane?)  He's also not happy when the enormous cats stop by for a visit -- They're three times the size of Freddy and they rub up against him.  Ew, chick, back off!  But, when his rear-end hits that cold aluminum table, he starts to shake.  He calms down once the techs come into the room, hold him, coo over him, and finally trim his nails.  He's still not happy about it, but it gets done.  P.S. Freddy's weight is down to 13.2.  Good boy!  Two more pounds to go!!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Freddy Talks

the wiener dog, talks and he's quite
expressive.  He uses the tip of his nose
to the tip of his tail.  For instance,
when Freddy absolutely can't wait another second for dinner, Freddy puts his
paws on Jeff's chest and nips his nose. 
Freddy did that to me once. 
It's funny and scary to see that large snout of teeth coming at you,
like an alligator.  He does it so
quickly that you see a big flash of teeth and then feel a mosquito bite on
your nose.  He never breaks the skin –
just a quick nip to say, “I’m eating NOW!”  

Dog Pack

Walking with Daddy and hammerhead shark
Freddy, the wiener dog, lives with his dog pack.  Jeff is The Alpha Male and Freddy obeys Jeff, well, most of the time.  Freddy is not good at minding his Mommy.  He almost completely ignores me unless I have food or car keys.  During the day Freddy follows Steven all around the house, and Freddy obeys Steven.  Freddy will also listen to his other two-legged brothers, but not me, well, most of the time.  Maybe it’s the deep male voices. 

Dirty Looks

Dirty Looks!
Freddy, the wiener dog, is VERY unhappy with me this afternoon.  In fact, he's walking around with a woobie and giving me dirty looks.  Mark and I ran an errand up to the school, but we didn't take Freddy with us. Freddy is extremely unhappy that he didn't go in the car.  Freddy loves adventures.  Because I left him behind, I have to be punished. Freddy can be such a Diva.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Favorite chair and pillow.

Freddy's favorite chair and woobie pillow
Freddy, the wiener dog, loves his ratty chair and woobie pillow.  The boys have gaming chairs for their xBox 360(R).  These only last so long and we get new ones.  But, Freddy loves his ratty chair.  It’s positioned so he gets sun; he spends time with his two-legged brothers; and he can see what’s happening in the kitchen and living room.  We’ve tried fixing it, but messing with his chair upsets Freddy.  We definitely don’t have the heart to throw it away.  So, if you come over and see the world’s rattiest chair, it belongs to Freddy and he’s family too.

Catching a few rays.....

Freddy, the wiener dog, always enjoys laying in the sun even if it's just a few minutes each day.

"Hello" is a bad word.

Freddy, the wiener dog, is always on guard duty.  Freddy has a particular sharp bark for arrivals - "I'm on guard duty here." "Who is it?"  I just noticed that it includes the word "hello."  Nana called and Eric answered the phone, "Hi Nana."  No response from Freddy.  When Eric handed the phone to me, I said, "Hello."  This prompted Freddy to come charging into the room with his "Who is it?" bark.  He wouldn't stop.  I kept saying, "Freddy, it's okay. It's Nana." but the barking continued.  Finally, I put the phone to his ear so he could hear her voice -- the barking stopped.  Thanks for being on alert, Freddy, but I've got this one.


Florida snake
Freddy, the wiener dog, likes to hunt lizards behind the outside garbage can.  One day there was a small, harmless snake.  Freddy was quite surprised when it came from underneath the can hissing and striking at him.  Even though Jeff removed the snake, for weeks Freddy wouldn’t go out the side door.  That’s okay, Freddy.  Jeff’s the snake wrangler.  You just need to bark.

Basic Manners

Freddy Baby
Freddy, the wiener dog, wants parents to teach their children the most basic doggie manners.  He’s surprised that they don’t anymore.  (1) Never approach a strange dog without asking.  He may look like a stuffed toy, but if he bites your kid then he’s in trouble.  Three-year-olds aren’t allowed to run up to German Shepherds.  Why are they allowed to run up to Freddy, especially when he’s growling?  (2) Once they receive permission to approach, their hand should never reach over his head.  It should come underneath with their fingers safely hidden.  A hand is like a doggie’s mouth.  Coming overhead is not the doggie universal sign for petting – It’s a sign of aggression.  But, if he bites your kid’s fingers then he’s in trouble.   This has been a public service announcement, and Freddy thanks you.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Hey, that's MY sandwich!

Hey, that's MY sandwich!
I'm in the kitchen making a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.  Freddy is standing an inch behind me -- He thinks the sandwich is HIS.

What was that about?

Favorite chair and pillow.
Freddy, the wiener dog, is the most unusual dog.  I’m standing in the kitchen fixing my cereal.  I see Freddy standing at the kitchen doorway.  I turn back to my cereal and Freddy makes a run for it!  He quickly tiptoe-trots past me, not looking at me, and gets into his little (nasty) chair.  He looked like a child who didn’t want to get caught.  What was that about?  He’s just going to beg for my cereal.

Evil Squirrels

Evil Squirrel
Freddy, the wiener dog, chases squirrels.  The squirrels run up and down the top of our six-foot wooden fence.  Freddy growls and runs as fast as he can up and down the yard, but he never catches one.  The squirrels actually stop on the fence and squawk at him and twitch their tails.  It sounds like they’re laughing at him.  Why won’t Freddy chase something that’s slow and on the ground?
Update: Daisy has discovered the Evil Squirrels and she's determined to get one. She runs from window to window looking for them. There's one that sits outside our laundry door and waits for her. Evil Squirrels.

Trash Monster

Walking with his hammerhead shark!
Freddy, the wiener dog, has burial grounds for his woobies. It’s a secret, and he moves sites from time to time to keep us guessing.  He doesn’t want us to find his woobies.  He likes them to get extremely dirty and when one of them has moved up in the rankings, he’ll take it for a walk.  We found his burial grounds, and I counted 12 stuffed animals but not all the ones I knew were there. Apparently the hammerhead shark has been a good boy.  Freddy’s decided to trot around with that very, very dirty shark.  He even took the hammerhead on a walk. Good thing he had a killing machine with him. We ran into the Trash Monster. It’s big. It growls. It spits out steam. Worst of all, it eats all the garbage in the neighborhood.  Freddy thinks it's going to eat little doggies with stuffed sharks.

Sunday, June 26, 2011


The Digger
Freddy, the wiener dog, has allergies.  I’m positive.  The vet hasn’t been able to detect any through blood work or whatever, but I know Freddy has allergies.  Freddy plays in the grass and dirt every day.  And, every day he comes inside and can’t stop biting himself until he’s had a bath.  It drives me crazy to listen to Freddy biting on himself.  It must be worse for Freddy.


Very worried.
Freddy, the wiener dog, gets worried.  There are many, many things that worry Freddy, perhaps because he’s so small or perhaps because his loves his two-legged family.  When Freddy gets worried, he grabs a woobie.  Today, Daddy is mowing the lawn and Steven is vacuuming the sand out of the car.  Both activities upset Freddy because of the loud machines.  So, Freddy ran and got his very dirty hammerhead shark.  He’ll walk around with it until Daddy and Steven are safely inside.

Upside Down

When Freddy, the wiener dog, doesn’t want to do something, he rolls over and shows you his soft underbelly. He did that for morning walk time. I picked him up and he started grunting like a pig, but frantically and loudly. “Somebody help!” I put him on the big bed and the loud noises immediately stop. He ran over and body-slammed Jeff. “Home base!” Silly doggie. Mommy can wake Daddy up for a walk too.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Get the aliens!

Freddy, the wiener dog, barks at airplanes – every single airplane that flies over the house.  On Saturdays, the airport changes flight patterns and we have a lot of airplanes flying overhead.  When a plane is approaching, Freddy runs outside, looks up into the sky, and barks at it.  Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark.  He thinks he’s protected his territory because the airplane flies away.  Of course, it doesn’t help that whenever he runs outside to bark at an airplane I yell, “Get the aliens!” 

Salamander on the loose!

Freddy, the wiener dog, spends hours hunting lizards.  Oh goodie!  There’s a big, fat salamander loose in the house.  (Mark said, “Mommy screams like a little girl.”)  Eric tried to catch it, but I called for Freddy.  He totally didn’t notice it.  What kind of hound dog is he?!

Strangest Personality

Waiting for breakfast.
Freddy, the wiener dog, has a particular habit for mealtime.  We start by asking if he's hungry, and he responds with a big sneeze.  (This is one of Freddy's ways of talking to us..the big sneeze.)  We get his food out and he runs to the hallway and sits down - like he's waiting in the wings - and he peaks around the corner.  Then, as his food is prepared he slowly walks into the room until he's next to us at the microwave.  (Freddy won't eat cold or room temperature food.)  When the plate goes into the microwave for 13 seconds Freddy starts whining.  When the plate comes out of the microwave he's in full whining mode, but he backs up to let us put the plate onto the floor.  We have to walk away and then he'll eat.  Freddy has the strangest personality.  

"They're all out to get my woobies!"

Freddy with his blue bird.
Ever since Tank stole the duck Freddy, the wiener dog, has lost his social skills.  Freddy no longer tolerates any dog.  He thinks they’re all out to get his woobies.  When we left for our walk there were two old Irish Setters walking by our house.  Freddy saw them, and when they turned the corner he started tracking.  We turned right down another street and this made Freddy unhappy.  He kept pulling on his leash to go the other way.  When we reached the end of the street, we turned left.  There again were the two old Irish Setters.  Freddy barked, snarled and snapped at them.  After we passed the doggies, Freddy obviously felt like he had run them off!  He started trotting down the street like he owned the place.  Then, he felt so good that he took off running.  I actually had to jog to keep up with that Mini Dachshund.  He ran the whole length of the street.  Tail up, ears flapping behind him.  I’m glad he took a break at the end of the street…I needed the rest.  I had been jogging in flip flops.

Friday, June 24, 2011

The Doggie Barometer

Freddy, the wiener dog, knows when a storm is coming.  He starts acting up about two hours before it arrives – barking at nothing, constantly looking out the sliding glass doors but refusing to go outside, walking through the house checking on everybody.  Every time I think, “Freddy, what’s wrong with you?”  Then, two hours later I hear the thunder.  You’d think by now I’d be used to it….the doggie barometer.

The boy next door

What was that?!
Freddy, the wiener dog, has known the boy next door for seven years.  This doesn’t stop Freddy from barking at Kevin – He’s not part of Freddy’s immediate family so he must be barked at.  When Kevin came over last night, Freddy didn’t bark at him.  Wow!  Freddy kept his ears up and would twist his head from side to side when Kevin spoke, but Freddy didn’t bark.  Had Freddy finally accept Kevin?  Um, no.  The boys had a sleepover, and when Kevin woke up Freddy started barking at him.  When Eric told Freddy to stop barking, Freddy would bark a defiant “boof” in return.  When Eric told Freddy again to stop barking, Freddy gave another defiant “boof” in return.  Freddy’s “boofs” got quieter and quieter, then he gave one final “boof” in protest and stopped.  Freddy is now going through the house looking for things to bark at – He just looked out the front window and barked at a butterfly.

Daddy's late!

Waiting in the hallway for Daddy.
Freddy, the wiener dog, knows his schedule and doesn't want anybody or anything to interrupt it.  Yesterday, Daddy was late getting home from work - their computers had been hacked and he spent hours fixing the damage.  This doesn't matter to Freddy, all he knows is Daddy's late!  Freddy stayed in the hallway for over an hour until Jeff came home.  It was heart-breaking.  I couldn't even get Freddy to eat his dinner.  His Daddy was late and he didn't like it.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Hunting Lizards

Freddy, the wiener dog, is a hound dog.  The highlight of Freddy's day is hunting lizards.  Here in Florida, our house is surrounded by lizards.  You'd think that Freddy would catch dozens and dozens every day.  Sadly, he rarely catches one.  However, Freddy joyfully digs through each bush, each trench, and around the pool patio.  I'm cheering for the underdog...well, the hound dog.

Mid-Morning Nap

Sleepy Baby
Freddy, the wiener dog, likes naps.  He prefers to have a mid-morning nap, about 9:00 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.  Of course, he can extend those times either way.  He wants one of his two-legged family members to nap with him.  He enjoys napping with his teenager brother.  Steven stays up late and then sleeps in, really late.  Freddy likes this.  I don't know how Steven stays asleep when Freddy climbs up into the bed, snorts and grunts like a pig, and body-slams him a couple of times to get comfortable.  Maybe it's a teenager thing.  Of course, Freddy wants a snack when he wakes up.

“Go, Dog, Go!”

D-i-r-t-y Dog.
Freddy, the wiener dog, found a stuffed “Go, Dog, Go!” (the dog from a Dr. Seuss book). I’m not sure which is bigger, Freddy or his new stuffed friend. I didn’t even know we had it. Freddy tried to take “Go, Dog, Go!” on his walk. He tried dragging it along, but he kept getting tripped up. So it got buried. Freddy likes his woobies d-i-r-t-y.

The Visit, Part 2 - New Monkey!

Old Monkey
When Auntie Julie returned from her trip, she brought Freddy, the wiener dog, a new woobie – a little monkey with a purple bow.  Freddy took New Monkey for his a.m. walk.  During a thunder and lightning storm he kept New Monkey with him.  Good monkey.  Oh, the little purple bow is still on New Monkey, but Freddy ripped the fur off.  A day later when I returned home from work, I discovered that Freddy made a hole in New Monkey – There were monkey guts throughout the house. Eventually New Monkey no longer had any guts…just skin and fur – and a purple bow.  Freddy is extremely pleased with his de-gutted monkey – It’s easier to carry on walks or shake to death. I found the killing field on the pool patio. There was a ton of stuffing outside my sliding glass door.  Who knew stuffed animals had so much inside?  Currently, New Monkey is buried in the backyard.  Lots of dirt, no stuffing, and a little purple bow. Perfect. 

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Baby doesn't feel good.

Curled up for a rest.
Freddy, the wiener dog, doesn't feel good tonight.  He made it through the long walk tonight just fine...He even carried his little orange brains. However, now he's curled up on his pillow - in between ours - and seems to be sore, probably from beach day yesterday.  He's having a hard time moving around and is so exhausted he just can't keep his eyes open.  I guess it's my fault because he won't acknowledge my presence...He won't even turn his head when I call his name.

Freddy has attitude.

Freddy, the wiener dog, is a Mini Dachshund.  He’s a little dog.  Unfortunately, he’s a grizzly bear inside – an angry bear.  He picks fights with the big dogs and doesn't back down.  He looks like the Tasmanian Devil from the Bugs Bunny cartoons when he winds himself up into a frenzy.  And, Freddy is worse when he’s carrying a woobie.  After the duck incident he’s positive they’re all after his woobies.

Odd Day

Freddy, the wiener dog, has had quite an odd day.  Perhaps he's just tired from his big adventures yesterday - beach and swimming.  He did bark for two hours at the beach - some woman sat near us (and not somewhere else on the empty beach).  Freddy thinks that he owns everything as far as he can see.  Usually that's not a lot, but it is at the beach.


Boys of Summer
Freddy, the wiener dog, really hates the swimming pool. We brought Freddy into the pool with us once. He sank. He’s not buoyant with short legs and a looooooooong body. However, Freddy LOVES when we get into the pool.  His favorite part is cannonball!  When somebody jumps in, he frantically runs around the pool screen, and then he starts working on his WWI trenches.  He only digs trenches when we’re in the pool.  Yet when anyone is ready for another cannonball, Freddy’s there – right outside the screen – waiting to start running again.

Curious Puppy

A very little curious puppy.
Freddy, the wiener dog, has always been a curious puppy. His inquisitive nature gets him into trouble. Freddy dug up a toad. He picked it up, then spit it out. He flipped it over a couple of times with his big nose. He picked it up again, and quickly spit it out. “That tastes gross.” Freddy turned his head back and forth like “what are you.” Freddy was happy to go on his walk and leave Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride behind.

The Visit, Part 1 - Old Man Spotty

When Auntie Julie went on a trip, Old Man Spotty (her very old, deaf and blind Pomeranian/Sheltie) came to a visit for a week.  Freddy, the wiener dog, was very jealous and wanted ALL the attention.  After all, Freddy is The Baby.  When he first arrived, Old Man Spotty stopped to sniff a woobie!  Please don’t pick it up, PLEASE!!  Remember the duck?  I thought Freddy warmed up to Old Man Spotty.  After a couple of days, Freddy was the old doggie’s seeing-eyed dog.  Freddy would let Old Man Spotty follow him around in the backyard, and Freddy would let us know when Old Man Spotty was standing at a screen door ready to come back inside.  One day I saw Freddy lying across a doorway.  When Old Man Spotty came along, he tripped over Freddy!  I didn’t realize that Freddy did it on purpose until I saw him continue lying in doorways that day.  This would stop Old Man Spotty from coming into a room.  The old doggie would stop, sniff Freddy, and turned around and walk away.  I had to reprimand Freddy a couple of times before he stopped blocking doorways.  Freddy gave me a sheepish look – He didn’t like getting caught.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


Freddy, the wiener dog, always reminds us that he’s The Baby.  His favorite way is body-slamming.  He climbs in Mommy and Daddy’s big bed and crawls under the blanket.  Then, to get really comfortable, he body-slams into us.  Now, it can take 6-7 body-slams to get into the perfect position.  Of course, if we try to move, then we’ll get mule kicked to get back into place.

Duck and the Puppy Next Door

Freddy, the wiener dog, loved his duck.  It made him feel like a big, tough doggie when he walked with the duck.  When we had a bad thunderstorm, Freddy hid in the closet with his duck.  When we out for an evening’s walk with his duck, the neighbor’s Golden Retriever puppy Tank ran into our yard.  Freddy dropped his duck and started growling, barking, and pulling against his leash to get to Tank.  Jeff pulled Freddy out of the way and into safety (although friendly, Tank was much, much larger than Freddy).  Then, Tank saw Freddy’s duck!  He grabbed it and ran with it for ten minutes while the neighborhood children screamed and chased after Tank to get the duck back to Freddy.  Oh no! Never touch another dog’s toy!  For the next morning’s walk, Freddy refused to take his duck.  Instead, he picked a mini-pink bear.  I thought we’d have to put the duck into the washing machine now that Tank touched it.  But, Freddy likes his woobies filthy dirty.  What to do?  Would Freddy continue to shun the duck?  The saga continued.  Finally, we had to say good-bye to the duck.  Freddy tore it apart.  Bad duck.  Freddy finally shook it to death.  We had a moment of silence for the duck.  Freddy now hates that puppy.  Tank will never be forgiven for stealing Freddy’s duck.

Second Breakfast

Freddy, the wiener dog, loves people food especially pizza, apple pie, and peanut butter. But, he’s a bigger pig than that. You see, Freddy is on reduced rations of Pedigree's Weight ManagementÒ diet doggie food. So, he wants to eat as many meals and snacks as possible to make up for it. Freddy conned me into a 2nd breakfast. That dog is such a liar. He convinces you that he didn’t eat and he’s starving!  Jeff and I have to call each other now to confirm Freddy’s been fed so that dog won’t get another 2nd breakfast. I started calling Freddy “Piggy” and he'll respond to it. Sausage Baby.

WWI Trenches

Headed into a trench with purple octopus.

Freddy, the wiener dog, loves digging WWI-looking trenches. They’re long and winding - the width of a Mini Dachshund so only Freddy can walk in them.  They’re deep, though.  When Freddy goes down into a trench, you can’t see him anymore.  These are very handy for hiding stuffed animals, hunting for lizards, putting in a sprinkler line or planting a tree. However, the trenches are very bad around the pool, the side of the house, underneath the water pump for the pool, etc. – basically anywhere something will collapse.  Freddy is obsessed with digging his WWI trenches, especially in the summertime.  We have a two Bald Cypress trees at the back of the yard.  Freddy likes to dig trenches around the roots too.  Freddy is a powerful digger.  His hind legs brace him so he doesn’t move forward in his dirt tug-of-war.  He stretches out the length of his body and then uses the powerful muscles in his chest as he scoops dirt with his front paws and then flings it behind him.  Dirt travels 5-6 feet.  Freddy is also a fast digger.  He can use his front paws to quickly move smaller amounts of dirt.  Of course, all of this makes a very dirty doggie.  He hates getting into the shower.  Probably like all boys, he doesn’t like clean water.  It’s a waste of good dirt.